Goofs and Gadflies

Thursday, August 25, 2005

First Foot Forward

I've learned something about love, my friend. It's not how they make you feel when you are with them, it's how they make you feel when they are not. Love sustains a man in the desert. It bridges the gaps of the widest oceans. That's off the top of my head, don't let me get started. Because when it comes to the wellspring of emotional currents, my river runs deep. The summer brings its act to a close, and the long hot days start to share the stage with cooler nights. The anthems slowly start to pour in, recounting another passing season in a way that only Green Day can. "Wake me up when September ends" indeed Billie Joe, touche. "Summer Lovin' had me a blast", chimed in John Travolta. But the last word in summer romance belongs to the great k.d. lang,

Sweet, sweet burn
Of sun and summer wind
And you my friend
My new fun thing
My summerfling

Summer love is like a romp in a Victorian dance hall. Pomp, elegance, circumstance, going through the pre-ordained motions in concurrence with the other dilettantes and their gents. It's very surreal and affecting, when the tune ends its much like a shunting into the real world, blasting on the anachronistic shuttle 300 years forward. We have certain unconscious habits. After seeing March of the Penguins I came to realize that humans too are affected by this habit of nature, this predilection towards temporary coupling in the warmest and most social of seasons.

What can't be discerned from our winged wonders of the hinterland is the emotional cost of this surreal life. Penguins are compelled to do what they must to survive. Humanity is often the other way around. Humanity revels in the drama of life. It diffuses the focus of reality and allows us a momentary reprieve from the responsibilities of like, say, sanity? People get swept up in the optics of interactions between people who share relationships; Friends, fuck friends, lovers, and most importantly the relationships that at one point have spanned all three. Defined by intense and consuming thoughts that seem disproportionate to everyone elses intake of the situation. Mostly involving sentiments like shame, embarrassment, and desire. Drama occurs when the actual result is so unpalatable that it appears rational to throw the baby out with the bath water.

As per usual, I have no story to tell. My words spill out as thoughts unformed by any specific event or story. I'm like a stew, I embrace experiences and exposures and absorb their essences into a melange I call "me". Yes, it means I don't have a particularly strong self-identity, but it also means I'm rarely bored with myself.

I am extraordinarily blessed this summer to have met some incredible people. Each with a different strength or talent that I could learn from. As usual, it was my closest friend who provided the greatest spark in my life. I can only hope that everyone has one person in the world who they can share everything with and speak honestly on any matter without fear of reproach or rebuke. The advice of a trusted confidante is best when confined only to the things that really matter. The truth is we learn the most from the people we listen to freely. Asking a question is the best way to narrow the scope of the answer. Finding answers in the advice offered without solicitation, that's where the nuggets of golden truth lay.

Now for some blog housekeeping: Please do check out Ken Wheaton's Non-Dating Life He is really knocking them out of the park lately and continues to be a great summer read.

Stay tuned for blog updates. As life continues to roll along, posts and thoughts gather and evolve. Work post coming up soon. Until then, thanks for reading and good night where ever you may roam.


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